Stop Trying to Be Happy

Which Winnie the Poo character do you identify with most strongly?  The loyal but often fearful Piglet perhaps?  Or are you more Tigger, the bouncy optimist? For some reason people have often identified me with Eeyore – the glum, pessimistic (I prefer ‘realistic’) donkey, who is sure that things will always turn out for the worst.

Being an Eeyore, I have often reflected on what it means to be ‘happy’: it is after all the assumed goal of most people in our culture. I recently read that the Dalai Lama (first time I’ve ever quoted him I think) said: “I believe that the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. That is clear. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in this religion or that religion, we all are seeking something better in life. So I think the very motion of our lives is towards happiness”.

Really?

It’s a view of life endorsed by the constitution of the USA: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” (According to the 2020 World Happiness Report  – there really is such a thing – Finland is the happiest country on the earth, with Iceland quite close behind. The USA is 14th, so maybe that’s still a work in progress).

But is that really what life is for? The pursuit of happiness?

Really?

I think there are a number of problems in making happiness the goal of life. 

Firstly, it’s not achievable. You can’t always be happy. Life hurts sometimes – a lot of the time for some. It’s hard to feel ‘happy’ at such times. To choose a life-goal that cannot be met is to set ourselves up for failure.

Secondly, if we idolise happiness, we will learn that its worship is very costly indeed! The pursuit of happiness is likely to lead us into any and every path that our culture claims will make us happy. Want to be happy?  Get fit, lose the flab, change your job, take a holiday, divorce the wife, buy a bigger car or house (preferably both). Still not happy? Try botox, extreme sport, a garden makeover, move church…  The list of ‘happiness pills’ is endless – and exhausting! Each one may work for a while: but then it doesn’t, and the quest begins again.

Thirdly happiness is not what the Bible proposes as a legitimate life-goal. I should make it clear that the Bible is not against happiness. ‘St Eeyore’s Church of Eternal Human Misery’ is not what Jesus had in mind when he said that he would build his Church.  In fact, Christians should be joyful, and content. As Pope Francis (I know, I’m spoiling you: the Pope and the Dalai Lama in one Blog) has written: “ A Christian is one who is invited… to join in the feast, to the joy of being saved, to the joy of being redeemed, to the joy of sharing life with Christ. This is a joy! You are called to a party!”

The Bible holds up joy – not happiness – as the ‘unalienable right’ of the Christian. The difference? The quest for happiness typically drives us towards short-term experiences and possessions: the gift of joy derives from God’s eternal gifts to us:  his presence (in your presence there is fulness of Joy – Psalm 16:11); his rule in our lives (Rejoice in the Lord always – Philippians 4:4); his laws for life (The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. Psalm 19:8); his forgiveness and acceptance (Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Psalm 32:1). And much more…

In short, joy derives from submission to God, his law and his saving work. These things are eternal and unchanging, and so it is possible to know joy even in those times where our circumstances might not make us happy! As Paul wrote, “Our hearts ache, but we always have joy… We own nothing, and yet we have everything”. ( 2 Corinthians 6:10). God’s gifts to us in the life, deaths resurrection and return of his Son are always our possession, even when life makes us unhappy!

God did not say, ‘Be happy as I am happy’, but ‘be holy as I am holy’.  Not the pursuit of happiness but the pursuit of holiness – all that God has for us in Jesus – delivers the experience of joy: even for Eeyores!

I’ll give the last word to Pope Francis: “Do not be afraid of what God asks of you! It is worth saying ‘yes’ to God. In him we find joy”.

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